PACIFIC OCEAN – According to a spokesperson for the Discovery Channel, this year’s Shark Week special programming will emphasize social justice issues facing the shark population, including a roundtable forum of notable sharks discussing Great White Privilege.
The broadcast, titled “Great White Privilege: The Uncomfortable Tooth” on the channel’s popular “The Ocean View” program features various species of sharks talking about the suffering they endure for simply being born something other than a Great White shark. The program hopes to address the institutional advantages Great Whites have enjoyed for centuries that have unjustly propelled them to the top of the food chain.
“When I swim into a school of fish, none of them flee in terror,” complained a dark-skinned Hammerhead. “But when a Great White comes their way, with his huge jaws and powerful muscles, they see his white skin and automatically give him respect.”
“Even the ads for Shark Week – all images of Great Whites, right? No Makos or dogfish? Thought so. I guess that would make the audience too uncomfortable,” he sneered.
One Great White joined the panel to lament the unfair benefits he enjoys because of his skin color. “When I hear my species say they worked hard to reach the top, I just shake my head. They won’t admit how many perks they got just for being white.”
“It’s time for us to check our Great White privilege,” he added.